The Cookie-Cutter Girl

I'm not perfect.
Nor will I ever be.
Nor do I expect to magically develop this technique over time.

I don't know what you were hoping for when you decided to have kids back in 1988, but I am not her.
I'm sorry if I'm not the daughter you expected. I disappoint you, I can tell.

All I can give you is what I have provided you with these last 20 years. With time, I'll learn more about life and grow... But right now, in this moment, this is all I can offer you:

A curly haired girl who has a lot of ambition. A person who likes to smile and see the positive side of most situations, but often hides her feelings when she is feeling otherwise. A girl that goes to school everyday, studies hard and is proud of the work that she contributes in and outside of school. A girl who stands up for what she believes in, but is frail. A girl who lacks confidence. A person who cares more for other people than she does herself. A girl who loves the people in her life; her family (friends included) and will do anything for them.

Everyday I think to myself, shouldn't I be trying to do things to make you happy? Instead, my goal is to keep you from getting upset with me. I am constantly walking on eggs shells and double or triple checking things so I don't toy with your routine.

I look forward to the day that you utter the words "I Love You" and I know that you actually mean it, because right now... I'm not sure.

Ten Things...

...that made me happy this week:

1) Finishing my group project (Communication Audit on H&M) and doing our presentation. We won the "People's Choice" award (also known as the Medicoff Challenge). I'm so proud us! I have never been so lucky to work with such a talented group of individuals

2) Driving to school on Tuesday. I know this seems like a ridiculous concept, but I really enjoyed playing my favorite songs, driving as the sun was coming up and getting to school early

3) Mondays & Wednesdays. My breaks with James are always a riot!

4) My class finishing early yesterday and getting the chance to go for breakfast with my Comm 210 buddies (minus Dany). We had such a good time! I'm gonna miss not seeing them every Wednesday morning

5) Buying tickets for the John Mayer concert. I am so happy that Selina wanted to go with me again! "Some day I'll fly, some day I'll soar!"

6) Getting my Christmas bonus this morning... although it's already spent on a train pass, Microeconomics tutoring sessions and a John Mayer ticket. Hehehe!

7) Helping Alex study last night at Tim Hortons. His smiling face as he was getting the answers right seriously made my week.

8) Laughing with Tamara. This girl has such a glowing personality, I love her for it.

9) Noticing that the numbers on the scale are slowly decreasing... Yes!

10) This moment right now: Having the house to myself while listening to music. Sometimes enjoying the day alone, can be so soothing.

February 17

"Belief is a beautiful armor
But makes for the heaviest sword
Like punching underwater
You never can hit who you trying for
Some need the exhibition
Some have to know their trying
It's the chemical weapon for the war
That's raging on inside"

I can't wait.

Laughter is the BEST medicine...

The security guard is staring at us, but we don't care, we laugh on.
It's funny how the simplest things in life can bring you the most joy. From watching my best friend choke on a mango-chunk in his Jugo Juice to the idea of speed dating, having a break at school is always amusing.

Mondays and Wednesday rock for these reasons, and I am definitely going to miss them next semester.

Too much laughing.
I love it.